Couples' Counsling
by Number XVI
Summary: Thunder Lack-of-sleep this... SoRiku, AkuRoku, CLeon... Very short one-shot! No smex, just fluff... OC, but she didn't do anything wrong, so ignore her...


**Okay, I thought this up at 5 this morning when I was _trying_ to go back to sleep after being woken up very rudely by thunder. It's probably not very well written, but I could not go back to sleep while this was in my mind, so I wrote it down and now I'm posting it! I don't want it to rot on my computer...**

**Anyway, there's yaoi couples (don't like? Well eff you), an OC, and a mentioned OC that doesn't appear.**

**If you don't like it, that's fine. I don't think it's up to my standards, but I digress.**

**Now, I'm off to bed! Nighty-night!**

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><p>"Okay so, let me get this straight…" Tora said, holding a hand up to stop any further speaking from the men in front of her. "You four—" she motioned to Sora, Cloud, Leon, and Axel. "Like me, but you two—" Riku and Roxas. "Don't?"<p>

They nodded.

Tora groaned, "I thought so," and laid her head down on the table they were all currently seated at.

"Okay, well, problem there: I'm not exactly, y'know, straight… In fact, there's a girl back home I was planning to ask out before you so rudely kidnapped me for something you _still_ haven't told me about!" Tora suddenly got starry-eyed. "Oh, Eli…" the teen thunked her head back onto the table. "Why…? Why did you have to take me the day I _finally_ managed to grow a pair?" and silence.

The six men glanced uneasily between themselves as they waited for the girl to collect herself.

Finally, she spoke again, "Besides, I was getting the impression that you're all gay, too,"

Their eyes grew wide and Tora watched them for a moment before it dawned on her, "You really didn't notice? Oh my—Well! I'll start with you!" she pointed to Sora and Riku. She leaned across the table and took Sora's adorable face between her hands and softly shook him from side to side, "You, Sora, are _the_ most oblivious, naïve child in the world, but that's okay! Sometimes it makes you seem cute. Now is _not_ one of those times," she stopped her shaking. "And that is because you never seem to notice the looks your so-called 'Best Friend' sends you almost 24/7! Sora, you may not think you're gay, but Riku most definitely is, and he knows it!"

Said silver-haired teen blushed and chose to stay silent. Now the blonde rounded on him, "And _you_ are the most _obvious_ person I've ever met! Honestly, I don't think you'd know subtle if you were a ninja!"

She turned back to Sora, "Regardless of his flaws, I know Riku loves you very much. Sora, I want you to face Riku and look deep into his eyes… Yes, that's it, and Riku, I want you to take his hands… Perfect," Tora sat back to watch the magic happen.

There was an awkward silence as the two of them continued to soul-search.

Suddenly, Sora gasped and everyone jumped, "Y-You really mean it, Riku?"

Riku nodded slowly and Sora bodily threw himself from his chair and into the silverette's lap and crashed his lips to Riku's viciously.

The rest of the men watch on, shocked, as the bigger boy stood—carrying Sora with him—and stumbled back into the recesses of the house.

Not waiting for them to collect their thoughts, Tora looked at Cloud and Leon, "You're next, and the first thing I wanna say is: do you ever do more than _grunt_ at each other? All I see you two do is grumble back and forth everyday and it drives me _mad_! What is that your mating call? Does each one stand for its own emotion? Like, is there one you use for when you're happy, and one when you're pissed, or is it a neutral sound that stands for everything? I want you to kiss each other right now and then march yourselves back there and have hot-'n-steamy sex filled with lotsa grunts and whistles, understand?" the two older men did nothing but glance at each other uneasily then look back at Tora. "Now!"

The two scrambled to meet in the middle in what looked like a clash of teeth, but eventually, they got the hang of it and Cloud practically melted into Leon's arms. They pulled apart and raced to follow Riku and Sora's wake.

Finally, Tora faced her two most troubled clients, "Axel, you're gay, and so is Roxas. Stop flirting with each other and get a move on! Riku and Sora are out classing you right now, and I'm sure that's not a pleasant feeling,"

The two of them looked at each other, shrugged, and head off to the back.

Tora sat back and brought her arms up behind her head, "All in a day's work,"  
>_<p>

Two weeks and several happy couples later would find them all sitting back at the table, talking happily.

"You know, you still haven't told me why I'm here…"

Cloud looked at the only female in the group and frowned, "I don't even remember anymore… Do you Leon?"

The scarred man shook his head negatively as did the rest of the home's occupants. Tora gaped at them.

"You seriously don't remember why you _kidnapped_ me? What the fuck?"

Axel grinned, "Oh shut up, Tora! We'll just drop you off back at home and when that pretty girl you like asks where the hell you've been, just tell her you had to think some things through about you and her, and then ask her out! No biggie,"

"You know what Axel? You can shut the hell up and take me the fuck home… I've got a girl to ask out!"

"That's the spirit. Go get 'em, Tiger!"

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><p><strong>R&amp;R, thanks!<strong>


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